“Not All of Them”: How Our Brains Trick Us Into Prejudice and How We Break Free




A Personal Story

Recently, I found myself scrolling through TikTok when I came across a video from Speakers’ Corner. In it, a group of Muslims were debating theology, particularly challenging Christian beliefs. As a Christian myself, I found it confronting. Some of what they said felt like direct attacks on my faith, so much so that I felt a knot tighten in my stomach.


Without even realising it, a thought crept into my mind: “If they feel that way, then maybe all Muslims do.” That one reaction opened a floodgate. I started watching more videos like it, content that portrayed Islam as hostile or threatening. I began commenting on posts, often confrontational, trying to defend my faith. I was no longer tolerant, I was dismissive. And the more I engaged, the more I felt the algorithm feeding me the same energy back.


What started as discomfort quickly became obsession. I dove into Islamic texts, but not to understand, to disprove. I combed through the Qur’an looking for flaws, looking for ammunition. I studied history not to find balance, but to confirm what I already feared. I ignored the beauty and nuance in their beliefs. I didn’t want dialogue, I wanted to be right.


It even changed how I related to the Muslims I actually knew, friends who had never given me a reason to judge them. People I once laughed with, learned from, shared spaces with. They wouldn’t have recognised the version of me that emerged online. I became more rigid in my own faith, almost fundamental, as a defensive shield. I wasn’t growing spiritually, I was armouring myself.


Only when I stepped back did I see what had happened. It wasn’t about truth. It was about fear. And I had let that fear reshape my worldview. That’s when I started asking: Why does my brain do this? And how do I stop it?



The Psychology: What Is the Representativeness Heuristic?

The representativeness heuristic is a mental shortcut our brains use to make quick judgments based on how much something or someone fits into a familiar pattern or stereotype.

It’s why:

  • If one man abuses you, you might believe all men are dangerous.
  • If a woman cheats on you, you might think all women are unfaithful.
  • If a person of a certain ethnicity robs you, you might start to fear everyone who looks like them.

Our brains evolved to spot patterns quickly, in the wild, it could mean life or death. But today, that same instinct causes us to judge groups of people by the actions of a few.


Social Conditioning: The Stories We Grew Up With

Growing up, we weren’t told outright to hate anyone, but we were conditioned to fear certain areas and associate entire communities with crime or danger.

  • In South London, we were told to avoid Peckham, “too many Black people, too many gangs.”
  • In North London, it was “watch out for the Turks, they run the drug scene.”
  • In East London, “Asians are dodgy, they’re probably terrorists.”

And after 9/11, that fear escalated. Muslims weren’t just “different” they were framed as a threat. Global events hardened these associations, and over time, they became unquestioned assumptions.


How Confirmation Bias Makes It Worse

Once you have a belief, your brain starts looking for evidence to prove it true, while ignoring anything that contradicts it. This is confirmation bias, and when paired with social media algorithms, it becomes dangerous.

I saw a few videos of Muslims saying extreme things, and TikTok kept showing me more. The more I watched, the more I believed it was common. My worldview was being programmed, not by truth, but by repetition.


So What Can We Do About It?

  1. Pause and ask: “Is this person representative of an entire group?”
  2. Actively seek out different voices: Follow creators from those communities who promote balance, compassion, and truth.
  3. Challenge your assumptions: When you catch yourself making a generalisation, stop and question it.
  4. Spend time with people different from you: Nothing breaks stereotypes like real human connection.
  5. Understand the algorithm: Know that what you’re shown is not reality, it’s a curated feed designed to hold your attention, not inform your mind.


Closing Thoughts

Our brains are wired for speed, not fairness. But we have something more powerful than instinct: reflection.

By facing our biases honestly, especially when we’ve been shaped by pain, fear, or misinformation, we don’t just become better thinkers. We become better people.



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